Who am I?

That’s a very good question. I’d like to thank you for asking, however, this isn’t an answer I could easily provide for it’s one that I have journeyed for myself. So, you see, it would feel as cheap as a carnival prize if I were to simply tell you the answer to your inquiry - as earnest as it might be. But I digress…

If your appetite for such curiosity remains unsatiated then I implore you to enter into a quest of your own….

At exactly 12pm - high noon - I will release a group of highly organized and trained pigeons to fly directly over the parking lot of Dodger’s Stadium. The pigeons will fly in a precisely calculated pattern that upon releasing their scat will create an abstract image that can only be accurately viewed with a pair of 3D glasses - I cannot provide these for you, you will need to provide your own. What the image will reveal is a quotation of lyrics from a very famous (but not overdone) 80s love ballad. Once you have correctly identified the song you must pay clear attention to the timestamps in which these lyrics appear for they will translate to a series of GPS coordinates.

Once you have obtained the coordinates, you will begin what I can only estimate will be a 3-week trek towards an undisclosed summit. Appropriate footwear is crucial as you will experience varying terrain.

If your durability remains intact and you arrive at the summit, wait until the sun is setting in the western sky and then lift your forearm to exactly 10 degrees above shoulder height and wait. Within 60 seconds you will be greeted by a falcon. Do not make eye contact with the falcon as it will see your gaze as a direct challenge and will engage in an avian quarrel. Providing the falcon agrees with your disposition and has refrained from attack, you’ll notice a scroll in the falcon’s talons. Upon unraveling the scroll you’ll read the following:

Colin Coughlin is an LA-based comedian, actor, and writer. He’s from NY originally and feels compelled to tell everyone that although he really loves LA and thinks it, along with California in general, has so much to offer.

He performs all over the country and is currently mounting his first 1-hour show “A Moment to Spare" which he hopes will change the world as we know it. 

In addition to performing live comedy, he’s also currently in two theatrical productions with the Clown School Company. You can also watch his comedy cooking show “Cooking with Colin” on YouTube.

He hopes to see you at a show, but more importantly, he - I, it’s me Colin, hey everybody - hopes you are having a great day! If you have the opportunity today to hug someone you love and stare at some trees, he - I, still me here - thinks that is time well spent.